Funny Father

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language." 

Good Dancer

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. 
Boy: What are the two things? 
Girl: Your feet. 

The Perfect Son.

A: I have the perfect son. 
B: Does he smoke? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he drink whiskey? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he ever come home late? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? 
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Turning pages without reading

Air & students hv d same mentality
How?
?
?
?
?
Both r turning d book's pages without reading.

Examiner taking practical of sardar

In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

Jaan Pe Khelkar Bachaya

Sardar ne jalte hue makan se 6 logo ko apni jaan pe khelkar bahar nikala.
Fir bhi usko jail ho gayi
Kyun...
Kyun...ki vo sab firebrigade wale the.

Sardar Found Bomb

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile...
1st Sardar: Chal police ko de k aate hain.
2 sardar: Agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: Jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha.

Sardar Ki ABC

Banta class mein - Madam maine "abc" yaad karli..
Madam -ok, to sunao..
Banta - a b c d e f g h i j k l e m n o p q r s t u v w x y z.
Madam - Arre aise nahi .aise suna A for apple
Banta - OK madam

A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saare apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayenge apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehte kyun ki yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaoge agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milenge itne achche apple
U for udhaar ki nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaa lo jaldi se apple
X for X'mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekh ke apple
Z for zaraa sa aur khaalo apple

3 Wheeler

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from three wheeler,

Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?

Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

Chashma Laga Ke

Santa: Doc Saab, main chashma laga ke padh to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai Doc saab varna anpadh aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

In A Crowded Bus

Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

Identification Parade

Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade.
When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: "Yahi thee, Yahi thee"

Why Do U Want Divorce

Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Banta : She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto (Wife) : Tu yahan ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai, ik tumari agg nahin bujati.

My Innocent Wife

Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing.
Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai.

Kya Chest Hai

Santa standing in balcony without shirt.
Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.
Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni BHABI KE dekh.

Fastest Thing In The World

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy : It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in Your mind.

MIT guy : Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked.

SANTA SINGH : Its Loose motion.

INTERVIEWER : (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

WANTED Poster

Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -
Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya?

Many Characters But No Story

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit ?"
Read the whole book, too many character, no story at all"?
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory.

Sardarji In IAS Entrance

Brilliant Answers by sardarji in IAS entrance...

Q- In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?
A- His last battle !

Q- How do u stop acid indigestion?
A- Stop drinking acid !

Q- Where was the declaration of independence signed?
A- At the bottom of the page !

Q- What's the main reason for Divorce?
A- Marriage!

Q- Ganga flows in which state?
A- Liquid state !

Q- When was Mahatma Gandhi born?
A- On his birthday !

Q- How will u distribute 8 mangoes amongst 6 people?
A- By preparing mango shake.

After An Accident

After an accident,

Driver said angrily:
I showed you the Headlights to say that I will go 1st.

Sardar:
I also started the Wipers to say, "No, No, No..."